Pull, Twist and Bend.

Today was a day of trepidation for me, a day where hesitation has results. I walked the two miles into my college this morning, normaly a pleasant enough walk with music and my cane but today I had neither so it wasn’t the best experience. I arrived before anyone else so everything was locked. This time I had planed ahead, and with a mighty pull I opened the doors to our room. Today’s plan was to pull the formerly motorised seating rig out, I like the physical exertion of the task.

Today was the day I had planned to tell my hated tutor that I was leaving, for bigger and better things. When it came to telling her, it took a while to bulk up the courage to talk to her. Walking into the shared course leader office I asked to talk to her privately and so she suggests a walk and talk. She started by explaining how this process normaly unfolds, we get to a certain point on the route and then the reason for the conversation is revealed. After the big reveal we walked in circles for a while talking about the course and the problems with it. We had a very adult conversation about it, about the nature of the course, the professional industry.

I rather liked that conversation, rather than make her suffer and sour her towards me forever; tainting my professional career we left on good terms. So I hope in the future should our paths cross again she will look on me with kind eyes. Now that I come to reflect on her I rather like her, it’s a pity we weren’t peers because if we were I have a feeling that we would be friends.

Later in the day I became aware of a bird that had broken its legs and was flapping uselessly along the floor. I asked for advice from my good friend who happened to be there at the time and who grew up in the country, and he said to me that the only thing to do is euthanasia. so I ask him the most humane way of doing it, to which he replies not unkindly that it’s like a rabbit; pull, twist and bend.
After a brief struggle I catch the bird in a deep plastic tub and take it somewhere dignified.
I had never killed before and so I was unsure of what to do. This wasn’t helped by my companion a horrible person who wanted to stamp it to death with his shoe. Well I couldn’t let that happen. The second companion I acquired wanted to know what to do in a similar situation, so after explaining the process to him I sent him on his way as well.
By this time the bird lay still and calm, I grasped it firmly and put it out of its misery.
I threw the bird in a high arc over into the deep bushes, one final flight.